I Hear Voices - Just Not Mine

Chinese Toilet

What is my voice?  I don't perceive that I have one.  I write so infrequently (I did until I started this program) that my voice is an inaudible whisper.  My voice is better seen in my opinion than written or heard.  I've been working in the visual arena for so long that writing is as foreign to me as one of those Chinese bathroom stalls.  The mechanics are familiar, but there isn't the day to day comfort level I'd prefer.  Ask me to make an animation or a graphic, I'm on it.  That isn't to say I can't write.  I can.  I can write quite well if the need is apparent. My writing tends to be scattered though.  I am a poor speller as well.  When I read a recent article about the use of commas, rather the misuse of commas, I sunk my head in shame.  The author was talking about me.  In fact, I was dead sure he had just read my blog and was so disgusted that he had to put pen to paper.  In my undergraduate days, I took several creative writing courses which I enjoyed.  The writing bug, however, slipped away as soon as I took off my cap and gown.

Fast forward to now.  I'm sitting in front of my computer trying to figure out if I have a voice or not.  I suppose I like to pepper my writing with humor and the absurd to make a point.  I look above to the Chinese toilet reference and that becomes quite clear.  I also tend to write conversationally. I am not a fan of using bloated or flowery language unless it makes a point.  I don't think people who know me would describe  me as long winded either.  This trait comes across in my writing.  I tend to get to the point.  I surmise any future as a smut novelist is out of the question.  They met.  They kissed.  They had sex.  The end.

We're all in this program for different reasons.  Mine are simple enough.  I don't want to work in TV news anymore.  Interestingly, I know what I don't want to do.  The problem is, I have no earthly idea what I do want to do.  My adviser for this program didn't seem too worried about this.  He said that students who don't know what their emphasis is going to be usually find their calling during the writing course.  Here I am.  No epiphanies yet.  Sure, it's just the beginning of this course.  But on top of venturing outside my comfort zone with having to write and to write well...there is an underlying pressure to find my calling.  I can tell myself the usual, "it will happen when it will happen" or "stressing over it isn't going to do you any good" until the zombie apocalypse.  It's still there, underlying every key stroke like the odor of the Chinese toilet I spoke of earlier.  I like to come full circle in my writing too.

In the simplest terms, I want to get more comfortable with writing.  I want to be able to hear my voice.  Or at least have somebody to tell me what to listen for.